singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
