is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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