Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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