I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
