i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
