you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
