I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
