Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
