Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
