dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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