I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
