I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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