I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
