Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
