Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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