she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We need to get me chipped asap
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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