They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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