he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
