Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
