you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
