I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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