If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
