Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
