Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
