I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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