high people should be assigned attendants
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
