I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
