I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
