I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize