I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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