Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
