at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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