tell your sister to shave her snatch
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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