something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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