he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
