y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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