do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize