Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
