The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
