Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

Fav 26 8530 1713
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(316): View more from Kansas

toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control

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(713): View more from Texas

His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

Fav 12 3953 987
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(408): View more from California

I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.

Fav 9 1324 879
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.

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