it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
