He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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