All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
