You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
