A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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