So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
