So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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