She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
