her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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