First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize