I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
