I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
