it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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