You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He felt like a one man threesome
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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