I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
People in love make me want to vomit
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
