thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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