just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
