I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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