oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
