there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't deserve a penis
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize