Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream