Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...