I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.