On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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