So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
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Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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