Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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