Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
